The parenting guilt of Generation X
Posted: December 27th, 2009 | Author: Dave | Filed under: Coping | Tags: education, Fatherhood, features, gen x, generation x, kids, parenting, rug time | 3 Comments »
“Go outside and play.”
“But…”
“No ‘but.’ Go.”
I looked at my mother through the dirty screen door. She wore bright yellow elbow-length rubber gloves and a look of determination — “You are NOT coming back in this house.” I turned around and walked into the yard, defeated.
A few hours later, when my mother was again talking to me through the screen, the conversation was quite different.
“I said come in here now! It’s time to eat”
“No! I want to stay outside.”
“David, I am not kidding…”
Such were my childhood summers. I spent a lot of time outside so that my mother was able to get things done unburdened by a whining, needy kid.
Today, I feel guilty if I don’t spend every waking moment on the floor, exploiting every educational opportunity that presents itself. I recently read an article that described this phenomenon as a generational thing, more prevalent among parents in their thirties than previous generations.
Call it The Parenting Guilt of Generation X.
What’s going on, Gen X’ers? Is it the parenting shows on TV? The magazines? The repeated viewings of Reality Bites?
I don’t know when it happened, but at one point someone impressed upon me the notion that my kids’ development and education is all-important, and something that I should ensure at any cost — even my own happiness. “Parenting is about sacrifice,” is the mantra I’ve somehow gotten in my head. But how much?
My mother had no problem letting the kids play on their own, so why can’t I?
Anyway, 30-somethings, tell me I’m not alone. Do you struggle with this as well? Life was so much easier when we were wearing Dr. Martins and black T-shirts, listening to The Smiths, and sulking. Ah, the good old days.
You’re not alone. I certainly don’t remember my parents spending as much time with me “playing” as I seem to be required to, particularly my dad. I don’t love him any less today, but yet I feel the same kind of guilt you’re describing if I don’t spend every available second with the kids.
Brian,
I’m glad I’m not alone. Though, I often feel crazy for spending yet another hour on the rug. Our parents didn’t and we survived, right?
I agree. My mother used to send us outside, not to return until lunch. Then we needed to wash up and head back out, returning home when the street lights came on. But I stress over how much time I do, or don’t, spend with my daughter. My husband is the same and we are both in our 30’s!