The Parenthood Club
Posted: September 14th, 2009 | Author: Dave | Filed under: Coping | Tags: babies, daddy blog, Fatherhood, kids, parenthood | No Comments »
Earlier this week, I took the kids to the YMCA for Gracie’s swimming lesson. In preparation, I packed my travel bag with Goldfish crackers and a few toys, meant to occupy William while we waited.
Everything was going well until we walked in the door. William freaked. I’m talking about the red-faced, fist-clenched, curled-toes howl that makes onlookers think “Oh, look, here comes the world’s worst father, evidenced by his own son’s five-alarm wail.”
I’ve got a theory about William’s odd reaction. It seems he only does this when we’re in commercial buildings that have a receptionist area. Call me crazy, but I’m sure he believes were at the pediatrician’s office.
He screamed at the front desk. He screamed in the locker room as Grace changed. He screamed poolside as we waited for Gracie’s teacher. He screamed in the hallway (they boot parents from the pool area during class). The Goldfish failed me, as he swatted them away. The toys onto the floor. We were pacing the hall when I spied a beautiful Pre-K classroom.
“Oh, look at the toys, William,” I said. He stopped crying. “Do you see those toys in there?” He looked through the window, snotty but quiet. Just then, a custodian opened the door, flicked on the lights and was walking into the classroom. I blurted out, “I’ll give you $100 to let me in there for half an hour.” He looked at me and said, “I’ll let you in for free.”
I put William down and he bolted from play area to play area, a look of ecstatic joy on his face. After thanking the custodian profusely and making a mental note to construct a candlelit altar in his honor at home, I said, “You have kids, don’t you?” He just grinned and said, “Two.”
It was as if we had revealed identical battle scars. Call it “The Fraternal Order of Parenthood.” In the end, I got a private half hour with William in a beautifully appointed preschool classroom, Grace had fun swimming and a deep understanding passed between me and a YMCA custodian.
I hope he didn’t mind the Goldfish in the hallway.
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